Photo by Engin Akyurt
How is it possible that the more we try to avoid pain, the more it hurts? Why should we stop running from it when it’s one thing we want to steer clear of?
You might have experienced being at the lowest point of your life for the past few years. Those moments make you question your life in general. What more could be lacking, even for people with everything they need?
There are moments when we hit a level of vulnerability we’ve never experienced. We feel like a failure even though waves of happiness can be felt from time to time. This causes us to look for more ways to alleviate the pain. But the emptiness will catch up to us even if we try new things like getting a new job, new partner, new hobbies, etc.
If you’re caught up in a situation like that, rediscovering the wisdom of human nature and our spiritual freedom can be suitable for people who have constantly been running from their fears. While avoiding pain may be great, it won’t go away soon. And the insightful honesty of Chet Shupe’s book fits just like that. The Spiritual Freedom Press can guide you in navigating the fearsome path of life. Avoiding pain is only temporary, but it’s not the only solution.
How long must we keep avoiding pain?
In all honesty, no one knows. Everyone struggles with pain, and reactions often vary depending on the gravity of the situation. There’s not enough wisdom to singlehandedly take the pain away from us. Time won’t fly, making us paralyzed by it. So if one asks that question, the answers would vary and won’t make sense.
It’s also natural for humans to seek pleasure to avoid pain. No one likes to carry on with an aching heart. This instinct is hard-wired into our subconscious, and we are shaped around it. Undeniably, we are all inclined toward safety rather than confronting the hurt. However, moving along a path with the least resistance will get us nowhere. It even comes with worse consequences.
What do we learn from pain?
All of us want to grow at some point. But we intentionally forget that pain is part of growth and the catalyst of change. Without experiencing it, we fail to learn what matters most, eventually destroying our happiness. We won’t be as capable and enduring in the long run. Humans are conditioned to avoid pain; confronting it sometimes feels like an unfamiliar concept.
Our thoughts are often full of wanting everything to be enough. If only we achieve that in all aspects, we believe life can be pain-free. The problems we’re trying to escape from would still pop up somewhere else, most likely on a slippery slope. By continuing the same path, we develop a relationship with avoidance. It makes us alienated from the world the more we side with it.
Numbing the terrible pain is understandable. But our ultimate survival lies in our choice to face the pain head-on. Our troubles resemble dark clouds – circling and hovering as it follows us. We can only swat it off when we learn to develop tolerance. That’s because there are excruciating moments that we have to live with for a lifetime.
Lessons from a cruel fate of avoiding pain
It’s never easy to let ourselves be vulnerable and feel the pain. Despite being transitory, the hurtful moments in our lives can be a turning point that changes us entirely. We become different from what we used to be, affecting our relationships and potential for growth. Looking for our old selves will take us an indefinite amount of time, and most likely, we’re still trying to find it. So it’s okay. You’re not wrong for enduring that long, especially when you felt alone or lonely the whole time.
Cruel is the pain that has legs that can run and wings that fly towards us wherever we go. When going through it, there’s a feeling that there won’t be any help. After all, the world has taught us that it’s every man for himself. Our judgment gets clouded when our world splits down the middle, making it hard to find closure. All those wounds won’t be stitched up anytime soon.
We can run, but here’s the catch: avoiding pain never meant that we could hide. And so we run from the things that cause us more hurt. Avoiding pain also means circling in the middle of nowhere until we think we feel nothing anymore. However, not making it go away leads to more ruin. Not even the typical distractions can help long-term. By exerting effort to confront our pain, there lies the strength that’s been hiding the whole time.